If you missed the premiere of Rich Mahogany, they are hosting another one, ON MANHATTAN ISLAND (yes, as in, NOT BROOKLYN), on May 18th at 8PM at Epstien’s on Allen Street and Stanton. Like typical premieres at Epstien’s, expect an overcrowded sidewalk, a bar full of underage kids, and actually only being able to see 25% of the video and 75% of the back of some guy’s beanie standing in front of you. Inside information is saying that DVD copies of the video will be available in two weeks, but you know how that goes.

And as for the worst video ever, which coincidentally was Eightball Paul’s thesis “film” for SVA and a culmination of money well spent on an elaborate 23rd Street art school education, that is also re-premiering at Epstien’s on the same day. And when I say worst video ever, bear in mind Lemony Snickets (known to outsiders as the Altamont mascot) has about fifty percent of the video’s screentime, rendering it borderline unwatchable and a significant risk on anybody’s blood pressure. I would imagine the re-premiere has something to do with the fact that the “filmmaker” of the actual “film” missed his own original premiere since his night before included this and the theft and subsequent breakage of a bunch of glasses from Dallas BBQ. So you should attend solely on the basis of allowing Paul to redeem himself, even if the video itself is the most infuriating thing of all time thanks to the soon-to-be-Lil’-Wayne-after-years-of-drugs-look-a-like depicted in the top right portion of the photograph.

Flyer and additional information here.

Even though the guy in office right now is probably preoccupied with Afganistan, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, Somali Pirates, annoying liberals, hippies, swine flu, the media, the Bulls losing to those assholes in Game 7, and banks, Billy and Open Road have started a group in the presidential challenge, which promotes physical fitness among youngsters as opposed to drug use and college.

Skateboarding: The President’s Challenge:
Open Road has started an advocacy group to prove to President Barack Obama how active skateboarders are, and to advocate for more skateboarding public access and freedom. This information will be logged in real time with the White House, Washington DC. In DC skateboarding is forbidden anywhere it’s not expressly permitted, unlike any other activity, which is allowed unless it’s forbidden, or illegal. We aim to change this discrimination in a positive way.

We’ve created a group within Barack Obama’s “president’s challenge”. We want as many skateboarders as possible to join the president’s challenge, then log in with Open Road to show the numbers of active skateboarders.

HOW TO JOIN Open Road for the President’s Challenge

1) Go to http://www.PresidentsChallenge.org/login/register_individual.aspx

2) Fill out the registration form.
* Be sure to include the following info during registration *

Your Group ID Number: 82837 (this is the Open Road ID number)
Your Group Member Number: (use your name)
3) After registering, start logging your activities. As you log activities you’ll be able to track your progress toward winning a President’s Challenge Award or Medal.

http://www.presidentschallenge.org/activity_log/groups.aspx

The 2nd annual King of Spring contest will be on Saturday, April 18th, 2009 at Thomas Jefferson Park on 114th Street and First Avenue in Harlem. 11 A.M. to 4 P.M. $3000 cash prizes, giveaways, petting zoos, etc. Unfortunately, due to the distance disparity from the city’s center of skateboard decadence (also known as Tompkins Square Park), I am sure there will be a lot less wild antics, as contests in recent years have been a lot more conservative and restrained in their sideshows of drunken and youthful mayhem. Seeing as how this one is a solid hundred blocks from Tompkins, the devilish influence of New York skateboarding’s most polarizing location will inevitably be missed this year.

Sponsored by Acapulco Gold, Vans, Red Bull, Instant Winner, Official, Autumn, KCDC and a bunch of others.

Hosted by Billy Rohan and Alex Corporan.

If you need to see a flyer, click here.

Watch the skateboarding-related highlight from last year’s contest.

Watch the overall highlight from last year’s contest. (”Get that boy a band-aid!“)

Quote of the Week: “Grandpa, can you confirm? I heard Gaygar gives happy endings in the back for $10 after he sets up a board.” - Brengar

If you have been following the two years of coming soon’s that have accompanied any mention of The Green Diamond video, I am sure you probably suspect that this video does not actually exist. It’s just an urban legend, like the third Dr. Dre album or a bust-free Manhattan ledge spot. However, there are several flyers circulating that state otherwise, and are promising a premiere in three weeks.

Features a Torey Goodall part.

There are two separate premieres, one for Yaje and another for the alcoholics. Both involve going to Brooklyn. Both are on Saturday, April 18, 2009. Flyer here.

The Yaje Premiere
8 P.M. @ the Autumn Bowl. 73 West Street, between Milton and Noble Streets in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

The Alcoholic Premiere
Midnight @ Enid’s. 560 Manhattan Avenue, in Brooklyn.
*requires neccesary government papers proving eligibility of consuming alcohol

Brengar has promised to review the video when it premieres. But the chances of him gathering necessary financial means and/or the motivation to make it 1000 miles north on I-95 in the next three weeks are rather slim.

Quote of the Week: “Brengar is eating everything.” - **** ***l

Bonus Quote of the Week to make up for the public’s distrust of Quarter Snacks: “I’m not racist. You can check my record.” - Racist Cab Driver

The video will be premiering at the Tribeca Grand Screening Room on February 3rd, 2009. They are going to have several showings, starting at 7 P.M. and ending at 2 A.M. The place is located at 2 Avenue of the Americas (Sixth Avenue) at Walker Street, just several blocks south of Canal Street. Admission is free.

Quote of the Week: “Dylan Rieder is like a hot chick. I want to go over there and get his number.” - Matthew Mooney