A recent rumor is gradually beginning to seem like a reality. During the winter, there was some word of the imminent transformation to be had in the back of Union Square, in which the wide open space and much coveted farmer’s market would be transformed into an array of small stores, like the ones that occupy the front of the park during the holiday season, where tourists are able to purchase shirts condemning politicans, candles, and other environmentally sound goods. It seems that the parks department has taken initial steps towards rendering the back on Union a long lost memory. This obviously has repercussions for those of us who occasionally skate flat there when there is nothing else to do and we have expended all other possibilities, but of course, this is not all that significant.

It is still hard to say which community has been hit hardest by this devastating new reality — the ravers/goths, the squatters, or the people who own skateboards, but are unaware of anywhere else to skate in Manhattan besides Union Square. The goths, and particularly the ravers, being the adaptive individuals that they are, as evidenced by their clinging on to a scene that has not existed for over ten years, are most likely the community with the least to lose in terms of lifestyle modifications. They are, however, at a heavy loss of prime real estate, since inevitable relocations will never quite amount to the amazing proximity Union had to Saint Mark’s Place and the Goth store on 4th Avenue. The most probable possibilities for relocation will most likely be greeted with a significant rise in overdoses on stimulants (for the ravers) and suicides (goths). Presumably, both groups will attempt to reclaim Washington Square Park from the pushing-fifty Haitian drug dealers, but will all be either arrested or scared away by the various.. umm… businesses in the park, who will be forced to choose between the revenue to be derived from both goths and ravers, and the increased police presence that would likely proceed all of the glowsticks and kids dressed like they are on their way to the Jonestown People’s Temple. Tompkins Square Park is also another candidate for relocation, but is an unlikely one when you take into account that the park closes its gates in the nighttime, and the pants both groups wear are a very significant health hazard for anyone who may wish to hop a fence, you know, with the extraneous zippers, 40 inch wide hem, and all that. Furthermore, it is a very far walk from the goth and exotic apparel store on fourth avenue, and the spanish kids from the Avenue D projects probably would not rush to establish a welcoming committee either.

The squatters will be forced to relocate to the dim corners of McCarren Park in Brooklyn, since they are not in extreme need of the various “alternative dress” stores (also known as costume shops) and inexpensive fast food places favored by the goths and ravers. If that does not work out, they can always go back to their parents’ house in Sheepshead Bay, where they ran away from due to the enforcement of a 10PM curfew.

The people who own skateboards, but do not know of places to skate besides Union Square will quit skating and become full-time sneakerheads.

Any way you slice it, it is going to be a very interesting summer.
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Other important, but not as important things:

Somebody recently posted this video of Matt Hensley’s part from Gullwing’s Full Power Trip (1988). The part was largely filmed in New York, during a mostly undocumented time in the city’s skateboarding history. There is even footage from the Harlem Banks, which many people commonly cite as never appearing in any skate video.

A pretty good Paulgar montage, despite a bit too much 12th and A.

I just wanted to say, thanks, iPhone. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane these days. Well, that and the meth.

The 5050 Reunion (Remember this one?) - Photo By John Roman.

Contest/demo/event footage is pretty much the worst. Importing, organizing and editing hordes of little kids all flying into walls even moreso. We decided to take the easy way out and provide a mere recap of the several highlights from this past Saturday’s King of Spring contest at 12th and A, where the overall highlight actually took place on a scooter. We can’t afford any fancy, Fox 5 sports journalists, in the same way I am generally incapable of writing things that make sense myself, so I opted for seeking out the (semi) professional eloquence of Taj Mahal. The Taji 12th and A Contest Re-Cap.

One of the few spots that you would never get kicked out of in Midtown, in addition to one of the more iconic double-sets in east coast skateboarding is just about done for. Jacob Javitz Center has been completely fenced off from entry. If you’re nice with jumping fences and want to get one last trick down the double set or on the curved bench before it gets torn down, now many be a good time to do it.

Significantly less important, but still kind of worth mentioning to those who like stupid east coast cutty spots, “that step to cellar door across from Veteran’s Memorial” is gone. They put handrails on both sides of the steps. I know the picture is horrible.

Quote of the Week: “Yeah, he was in a picture in my history book with Martin Luther King during the civil war.” - Yaje “Straight Edge 4 Life” Popson

If you’re in Westchester, there’s a skatejam / art show / Listen video premiere at the new 2nd Nature location tomorrow. Click the link for the flyer.

Rest in Peace, Supreme Ledge. That was certainly short-lived.

In reponse to the backlash I’ve been recieving via the occasional e-mail and the frequent message board discussions of not keeping the spots section up-to-date, there is finally a decent sized update for it. Being that it is the largest section of the site, and that I only personally skate maybe five of the spots it lists on a consistent basis, keeping it on track is not easy. But it is the most visited part of the site, and pretty much the reason why 75% of people go on here in the first place, so this seems appropriate.

A lot of the new listings are for b-list spots — in other words — places that only the most selective people will skate. There are not any giveaways of locations that all of you rush to message boards to post “Where is so and so in the new quarter snacks or stick up kids clip?!?!” so don’t get too excited. Either way, this is in fact and event, so without further ado..

New Listings: Reggaeton Ledges, Pearl Paint, Water Street Benches, Pyramid Ledges (real-late with this one), Tribeca Park, “The Fake Barcelona Spot,” Chinatown Double-Set, Duane Reade Ledges, Heaven, Family Court, Hooters Rail, Chelsea Piers, (Midtown) Ferry Terminal, Park Avenue Banks, Ferry Banks, 95th Street Rail, and Columbus Avenue Banks

Updates: Desbrosses Street Ledge [New Pictures], Brooklyn Banks [Status Update], Chinatown Banks [Long Overdue Status Update], Fuji Building [Status Update / New Pictures], Rail To Drop [Status Update / New Pictures], Journal Square [Status Update], Beljuhly Banks [Status Update], Lenox Ledges [Status Update], Museum of Natural History [Status Update], and Mental Hospital / 145th Street Banks [New Pictures].

Speaking of spots…

“It’s easy come, easy go, y’all know the rule / It’s CB, motherfucker, you know I’ll cut you / And if you got it, you know Imma have to touch you / Like knockin’ on your door and hollering ‘Trick or treat fool!’” - Crunchy Black the Great

More and more spots continue to fall off the master list as the young’ns get out of school. The Fuji Building has been completely stripped of anything skateable and is now fenced off for construction. You could remain optimistic and hope that they hook it up with some more junk to skate, but for some reason that seems unlikely. Pictures here, here, here, here, and here.

My man Cassius Rigby has been putting the prank call game on smash. Amidst our recent Thursday night poker game, he dropped me a bootleg of his upcoming album. Download it here. (I know all of you assholes who take skateboarding way too seriously are going to hate on this, but all of you can go suck a nipple….the Slap Message Board still has free membership).

I normally avoid all these large-scale skateboarder gatherings, but I’m not everybody. The Stoked Skatejam has been moved to June 16th. Flyer here.