
The underage drinking community recently suffered a significant loss to its already depleting body of alcoholic resources when The Hat put an end on “to-go” margaritas. This beverage was favored heavily by the 16-20 age group, because in exchange for the meager sum of $8.00, customers would receive a cool, refreshing, whopping five ounces of margarita, composed largely of Georgi Vodka and cost-efficient margarita mix, concealed in a plastic cup. The plastic cup would enable patrons to consume the beverage just outside the immediate vicinity from the location where it was purchased. Unknowing police officers would overlook the unsuspicious group of seventeen-year-olds non-chalantly posted up against a wall on Stanton Street at 2:30AM on a Wednesday night, all drinking from similar cups, which they likely presumed to be a family-friendly beverage like Kool-Aid, or Hi-Ci (for the white people).
Underage drinkers have had a range of reactions. While some reacted furiously, others greeted the news with a wave of cool indifference. “Little” Kevin Tierney, 18, of Astoria, Queens, who would often save up his lunch money for the purchase of his weekly margarita on Fridays is among the many left to cope with the emptiness left by The Hat, “Yo, that’s o.d., yo. How [are] they gonna do that, yo? That’s o.d.” Others have began to discover that perhaps they did not derive as much joy from The Hat as they may have once believed. Matthew Mooney, 20, of Spring Street, SoHo, brushed the ban on to-go margaritas off with little concern, “I don’t give a fuck. That place is gay anyways.”
Many L.E.S. cultural commentators and trend forecasters have compiled a variety of theories regarding what the future may hold for the beloved Stanton Street staple. Many have speculated that it would soon run out of business, granted that the overpriced margaritas, combined with the abundance of underage drinkers getting an early start on ruining their lives have helped pay the rent. Others believe that the “sub-par” food, and Mexican decor of The Hat is enough to maintain a healthy stream of Bridge and Tunnel drinkers, equipped with IDs, Diesel jeans, and the mandatory popped-collar button-up shirt.
We will keep you posted on more of this story as developments come in.
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May 2nd, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Fuck, at least i still got my girl, lil 50, and the back of union square for the time being. Shoutouts to my boys knocked up, the driver, and puerto rican sam.
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:59 am
oh by the way…i’ve changed my name from the cuddler to the snuggler. The snuggler title goes better with my new supreme hat with a lone, embroidered “s” on the front. i just don’t know what it is…i love skating, but spendindg time with my girl, and expressing our effection for each other publicly is just more fun i guess.
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 pm
When did the writing on this website get so fucking funny?
May 3rd, 2008 at 5:49 pm
how are underage girls going to get drunk now so i can fuck them?
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:48 pm
when did the writing on this website stop being about skateboarding?
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:51 pm
This post actually has a lot more to do with skateboarding than the untrained eye may be lead to believe.
May 4th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
i knew that all along, snackman
May 4th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Worst update ever
May 4th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
don’t worry miles…you can put your arm around me and take me next door to the fish…just like last monday night
May 10th, 2008 at 5:38 am
thank god all you little shit bags are 21 now….. you can buy beer for the fat girls you pick up at American Apparel….
May 10th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
yo das o.d what they wrote about me yo